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I’m scared…

September 3, 2009

I am so scared.  I’m scared that something bad is going to happen.  I’m scared that if nothing bad happens that I won’t be a good mom.  I’m scared that I will puke at work.  I get scared throughout the day then I get mad for being scared.

We told N’s parent’s on Tuesday night.  N wanted to wait until after my 1st doctor’s appointment but that’s not until October 7th so he changed his mind.  He picked me up from work on Tuesday and all of a sudden we found ourselves at the mall picking up a few things to give his parents.  We got them a yellow wooden picture frame that said “Grand Kisses, (something else I can’t remember) Grand Kids”  We wrapped it up in green tissue paper and put it in a green gingham bag and gave it to them.  N’s mom opened it and read the frame and just stared at me for a few minutes until I said “Surprise!”

It was good to tell them, they were so excited.  I just hope we didn’t tell them too early and we don’t have to “untell” them.  That is what I’m scared of.

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